So, I called my Dad yesterday. We small talked for 20 minutes or so. I told him that we need to get together to talk about some stuff. He said ok. So I said how about tomorrow, I'm free all day. I had hoped he would call. I am considering telling him that if he wants to be in my daughters life at all it needs to start soon. My wife is due 1-1-10. We havn't spoken in about four years.
I'm doubting that he will say no, of course I want to be in her life, but I'm doubting even more that he will follow thru. Not responding to the invatation to our wedding really pissed me off. Not calling me in all this time, except once when I had called and he didn't answer and he called back while I was at work, isn't giving me much hope. I should remember that he has two sons that are really his. He only adopted me when I was 9. And he has always clearly loved them.
Part of me wants to leave him behind and never worry about it again, but it keeps coming up. I never met my real father, even though we lived in the same town. He has since died.
Sometimes I think that my relationship with him has negatively influnced all my "mentor" relationships. I think it has affected my relationship with God, the ultimate father.
I wonder if finally confronting him, either to start a real relationship or to end a failed one, will help. I wonder if he had the same troubles with his father.
I'm just thinking that I may have to deal with my feelings or emotions or whatever concerning my father I never met too.
We'll see.