still reeling

Yea, I'm still reeling from my aunts comment on my Oct 7, paradox. It was about my step dad, and his relationship with her and with me.
We grew up in the same house for quite a while. Me, my Mom, my Sister, my Aunt and my Gammy. I reall miss those days. Then he moved in.
It's really weird to see someone elses view of those days and how different it is.
Strange also is my Moms account of my sisters dad, Timmy. He was there when I was 7, 8, and 9 or so. I always thought he was the coolest dude. I feel as if he included me in stuff, he showed me stuff, taught me. Moms story with him is very different. Me and Mom just had that talk a few months ago.
I think when Ed came along I rejected him, and vise/versa.
It's been a couple of months since we met and I spoke to him about how I felt. It went as expected. and I havn't heard from him since. I'm sure one day I will hear from him, but I don't think it will be anytime soon.
It's funny how 20 years later I'm gathering new information, still trying to figure out what went wrong, hopeing I don't do the same with my child. Who is due any day now.